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13 July 2008

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Phil

Kimberly, you are the best and I am glad you are here with us and not her......!! RP

Paledave

Be strong, Kimberley. Summon up all of your fortitude and shake off the rot. You are a rock. Divert yourself. You embody joy, and you create beauty, in art and life. Strength, darling.

Kip de Moll

It's a shame that anyone must undergo such malevalent and misdirected energy. It takes a very thick skin not to be affected. Such energy is a drain on us, depletes all that is good. I hope you can purify the air around you and go about the rest of your day in joy.

patricia

I have a mother who is manipulative and malevalent. She, however, presents as a perfect angel. She is able to convince others to remove love and support from me.
She once said, "They know I am a saint now. You, they think, are a crazy vicious bitch." "It is much better for you to look crazy than for me to look like a bad mother."
She went so far as to return to my father's death bed after a 26 year seperation and look like she was caring for him. She told me that "other things" happened when no one was there. I can only imagine.

Enough for me. No more contact!
It takes so long to beleive some one you love would hurt you like that.

Hold your truth and love yourself. Mothers like this exist and harm us to the core.
I am a good mother with successful children despite my "fairy princess mother". I send you caring mother energy that she did not.

Love
Patricia

kathi

Well, i think that my mother too is a "fairy princess,"... isn't it strange that I am attracted to men who are "fairy princes" has anyone else found themselves attracted to male socio's?

Someone who knows about Patsy Ittner

She is REALLY A crazy BITCH who LIES and we too have experienced this first hand from the point of a business adventure. She lies, steals and should be in jail.

Cynthia Hoffman

Isn't is sad our OWN mothers are so ill? After reading everything I could about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I had to finally conclude my mother is a sociopath for she goes so far beyond the usual definition of NPD. Too, commenting on Patricia's Aug 18, post: I too had to finally realize that given being loved by someone "normal" without N or sociopath issues was so alien to me that I kept choosing horrible men who behaved just as my family did because I was caught up in the familiarity of it all. Finally, at age 51, I am FREE of my old behaviors and ready to enjoy life to its fullest, and it's about time. Now, when I meet people caught up in N or S relationships, I think, "thank God I awoke from my living nightmare and am ready to be self-aware before it's too late to have a nice life." Goodluck to you, Kim, and all of us for the courage to face the facts of life. Best regards, Cynthia

Anne

it is tough and I know exactly where you are comming from, mu mother told lies & played my sisters & I off against each other for years, insitgated physical violance between us & beat us. She would insite my father when drunk to beat us too. as an adult I tried to understand her but recently she has accused me of hitting her attempted to get a sister to hit me, she makes malicious phone calls & texts - yesterday I told her to p*** off I have had enough, I dont need this evil wonan in my life making me feel bad - I am successful, have a happy marriage an am building a relationship with my sisters for the first time in 30 years and she hates it.

L

I feel for you... I am just now dealing with a mother who we are trying to determine whether or not she is a sociopath. This determination is NOT a professional one, as she does not think she has any problems. After several nasty emails to me the last 2 days, including one that she told me she would "see me in hell", she called tonight, crying wanting to reconcile. Needless to say, I have had a stomach ache ever since and don't know what to do....

L.

angela

I think we could be sisters since my mother is also a sociopath.My heart goes out to you for all you have been through..I plan on putting my mother in the worst nursing home money can buy maybe they can be roommates

Mitch

Hey to everyone whose experienced this with their mother. I'm in the same situation with mine.

My advice is to stay strong inside and take everything said with a pinch of salt. Just keep reminding yourself, her actions are a reflection on her and not you.

I've given up on the arguments and instead I just hold my position. I know what she is and nothing she can say 'nice' or 'evil' can make any difference to what I know to be the truth. Once you accept this the rest is a little easier to deal with.

If she is a sociopath, she can't see reason in emotion and contacting her is buying into her game because that's all it will be to her. Good luck and hugs to you :)

Artiface

Thanks for your input Mitch.
I agree with you 100%. If you read through this, you will see why this had to go public.
Since we're on topic, it's still public because it seems to help people who are in similar situations. I think that's the best possible outcome for an otherwise useless situation.
Take care and stay strong.
XXKHT

Steven

Thanks for taking the time to post everyone. Respect. You've all helped to make a difference in my life.

In return i'd like to share this little weapon i'm finding rather useful in my quest for emotional and mental balance (being the son of two APD's I'm well versed in the spider web of tendencies and patterns intertwining beneath this rotten illness).

Specifically, 'my weapon' is helping me with setting, resetting and maintaining healthy relationship boundaries.

Let me first clarify that i've no contact with either parents but unfortunatley have, along the way, surrounded myself with clowns that (up until now) like to take advantage of my disease to please etc and provide nothing worthy in return for my friendship and love.

I stumbled onto a great tool for me for 'cleaning house' and it seems to make these 'clowns' go away, instead of me avoiding phone calls etc I answer calls emails whatever but my secret weapon: AKA negative politenes, helps them get the 'off you go' vibe from me.

Clearly this has its application but man it's the business for cleaning house without any awkwardness down the track. True. They really do avoid me now. How good's this.

If cleaning house is something you need then Google it and check it out. If it helps someone else like it's helping me then brilliant.

I've printed loads of little examples to reference when needed.

A personal favourite is:
'you must forgive me but... (make this part about yourself not them they dead set hate it LOL)

Here is the link to the first site i found it on. Have fun with it and all the best.

http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/Communication/rules_of_verbal_self_defense.shtml

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