Put Yourself to Bedlam

"When God wants to punish you he answers your prayers"

The last in our triptych of Mr. Deity in celebration of the holy daze.

MR DEITY AND THE MESSAGES

I hope you all have a lovely day no matter what you're celebrating, or even if you're not.

XXKHT

Birthdays: PALE DAVE!! Chaka Kahn (59); Roger "four minute mile" Bannister (79); Doc Watson (89); Joan "No wire hangers!" Crawford (108)

editor's note: I just realized all these b'days I've been jacking from here: MARCH FAMOUS B'DAYS are four years back dated (except for today's and henceforth) - so add four years to the last month's b'days cuz I'm not going to go back and fix em... D'oh!

"If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed." ~ George Carlin

Since it's the holy daze, I thought I'd run a little Mr. Deity triptych while Jesus is in purgatory (or wherever he goes between getting nailed up and re-animation):

MR DEITY AND THE REALLY BIG FAVOR

Happy Belated Equinox everyone!
XXKHT

Some B'days on this day: Reese Witherspoon (32); George Benson (65); William "Emoticon" Shatner (77); Marcel "Talk to the Hands" Marceau (85); Karl "Don't Leave Home Without It" Malden (96); Chico Marx (121)

“A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation.” ~ Nietzsche

It's late and it's Friday night and I spent the day between art and starting the rest of my seeds.

Even God rested on the 7th day and this is my 21st so here's my note:

MR DEITY AND THE EVIL

Have mercy on me.
XXKHT

Birthdays Today: Matthew Broderick (46!); Rosie O'Donnell (46!); Gary "Scary" Oldman (50); Johann Sebastian Bach (323)

Don't Worry, Be Crappy

My partner attended Goddard College last fall when the following video was recorded at a social. It's a particularly funny segment of a discussion about most embarrassing moments.  You can hear my partner distinctly in the background, saying things like "OOooh Shit! (how apropos) and laughing the loudest (go figure).

His best pal at school is the film maker, Darren Blondin. Darren is studying audio engineering, hence the recording device. He finished the film during the few days left of the week long residency and presented it as his class project (we think). I love the subtleties he worked in in spite of the simple weeble-like graphics. Notice the main character has red pants to the others blue, and that there's one black egg.

Goddard is an amazing school. Everyone I've met who has been associated with it, raves about it. Sure sounds like fun.

XXKHT

Premature Ejaculaters of the Fruit World

After several embarrassingly sticky experiences in forgetfulness, I'd all but given up carrying bananas in my backpack.

Problem solved! Cultured Containers inventor Paul Stremple - a former pornographer Gucci architect - has invented the thing all fruit lovers will love to discover in their pants stockings this holiday season:

It's a Banana Bunker

As you can see, it's a hard shell condom for your banana; designed for her pleasure to protect the other contents of your bag from the inevitable banana spooge which occurs as it explodes on contact with anything else in the bag, i.e. your book, reading glasses, mp3 player and of course the bottom of your bag.

And it comes in colors like a rainbow.

Another million dollar idea slips through my fingers...
XXKHT

originally posted by: A Simple Paragraph

"Merry Christmachanukwanzika"

Ever notice how the "ika" at the end of Christmachanukwanzika rhymes with the end of Swastika? Merry Christmachanuswastika. Coincidence?

You heard it here first.

So I did some cursory exploring of the blog lists of the blogs I'm currently admiring. It's risky business  surfing through so much talent and not jacking everything in sight.

But I just had to jack this, from Fat Jerry (who is featured along with myself by Kevin K) who jacked it from The Consumerist who jacked it from Nancy Kay Shapiro.

I could understand if this mistake occurred in say, Idaho, but this was at Balduccis in downtown Manhattan...erm....

L'Chaim!

XXKHT

SWEATSHOP SPONGEBOB

In the spirit of today's other article on Being Too Serious:

As a SPONGEBOB fan and anti-consumerite, when I happened on this irresistible tidbit posted in Silenced Majority, I had to post it for myself.

Fishsticks!
XXKHT

PATRICK: are they laughing at us?
SPONGEBOB: no, Patrick, theyre laughing next to us.

What Would Jesus Buy?

...or bomb so he could get more money to buy stuff...

One of my Thanksgiving guests mentioned that she hoped she could get up the following morning in time for a big chain (I refuse to advertise here) store's  4 a.m. opening on Black Friday. I thought she was joking.

My disdain for holiday consumerism is well known to my friends and this is the second and very likely not the last time I'll write on the topic in this infant blogspace (less than a month old, isn't it cute? Yes, it is).

So when I came across this other fellow's political blog Silenced Majority Portal and his post about  Reverend Billy's film What Would Jesus Buy?  I was delighted. I'm more than happy to spread the gospel of staying out of the mall this holiday season.

I also found this other nice looking blog: The Daily Galaxy with the post:

The Consumer Paradox: Scientists Find that Low Self Esteem and Materialism Go Hand in Hand.

I can absolutely relate to this concept. Literally, the only time I ever want to go shopping is when I'm down. I have a handmade magnet on my fridge that says: "You need to get more things. you don't have enough. Go to Walmart and buy something. You'll be happier."

Even without cable*  I feel the pressure to buy stuff over the holidays. I don't want to disappoint my kids. I don't want to be the one that spoils the fun (although I often am). I just want to be normal - but what the hell is normal anyway?!

I know this: it's not normal to get up at 3:30 a.m. to go shopping in the freezing cold for whatever they're offering so you can give it to a loved one just to prove you love them. Love is many things, but definitely not that.

Here's my helpful holiday suggestion: If you aren't creative enough to make something that symbolizes your seasonal love, help an artist and buy something handmade from someone local.

There are plenty-o-craft fairs this time of year, and more and more artists are making useful items in addition to baubles. However, if it's googaws you want, they've got those too. You'll be supporting your community, supporting the arts and doing a good thing for the globe by not perpetuating the abuse of petroleum products, slave labor and ultimately landfills.

Hallelujah and Amen my brothers and sisters...
XXKHT

*that's right, I'm a self-aggrandizing TV hater and I judge it and you for giving in to it's hypnotic powers of manipulative deviation.

“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.” -- Mad Magazine