Put Yourself to Bedlam

"Cats, flies and women are ever at their toilets." ~ French Proverb

It's time to change gears and move away from my family's insanity. It's been a crazy week for my mother's family. My grandmother dehydrated and became very ill. She's getting better thank goodness. My mother's sister hasn't gotten the news about her illness, but her most recent visit to a doctor gave some hope.

My mother seems to have settled down and has now begun her own blog with a running feel sorry for me because my son died theme. I hope that works out for her. At least it appears to have detracted her energies from attacking me and mine.

My week has otherwise been productive and pleasant. However, today, sadly, I am delivering my little girl cat to my ex, because ever since she arrived here almost a year ago she and my large Tom cat have commenced the pissing contest for the ages.

I took her in from the street. Actually, she adopted me. I had been looking for a second cat for some time, and had gotten permission from my landlord to get a new kitty from the pound. I stalled for a few months because I had a feeling I should wait and see what the universe offered.

Along came the little girl as if on cue. At first she was awesome. The cats sniffed each other and even slept next to each other for the first few days.

Then the war began. It's been going non-stop - first with chasing and hissing and now, nine months later, the pissing contest that has ensued has hit critical mass. My male is spraying now - something he never did before.

I can think of no other solution. GIR (the male) is staying, because he's been my kitty since we got him at the shelter 6 years ago. Little GIRL has got to go.

I believe that all things happen for the best however. My ex is thrilled to have her, loves her already and is committed to the same cat care ethos as myself. No going outside. No moving without finding a place that will accept her. Decent food.

She loves him too, so other than my sadness at losing her - after all, besides the feral behavior (she was a street urchin), she's been a wonderful kitty. Super smart, exquisitely beautiful and extra affectionate.

She'll be good company for my ex. I suppose it's a win win, but still...losing a pet even to a new and more appropriate home is just sad.

Now I have to spend the next week trying to rid my apartment of her legacy. I ordered some exorbitantly expensive urine neutralizer solution(we'll see - possible review to follow). I have priced steam cleaners. I'm going to throw out my couch (I hated it anyway).

Here's hoping my male cat stabilizes and goes back to his fat, lazy ways and that my home returns to it's former reputation as a great smelling environment redolent of delicious foodstuffs and whatever naturally good smell I seem to apply. I hope he loves the new roommate who we'll be meeting later this week and we can all live happily ever after.

Fingers are Xed...
XXKHT

"Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought it back!" English Proverb

"Hell Hath No Fury Like a Kitty Cat Scorned" --KHT

This morning, I caught her red pawed chewing on the wireless router.

She was half stuck under the highboy dresser, so I grabbed her and threw her out onto the porch to teach her a lesson.

Tonight, as my partner was concluding his day out cheering on his favorite football teams, I took the opportunity to enjoy a girl's night out.

When I got home, there was a note on the kitchen counter:

"The door to the bedroom is closed, because little cat shit on the bed."

'nuff said,
KHT

"There is No Snooze Button on a Cat Who Wants Breakfast" --Unknown

We have a problem.

At our house, we humans enjoy sleeping in on Saturdays, while our cats could better be described as "morning people."

It's become a routine - right around 6 a.m. every morning "Little Girl" (her polite name) starts making lightly audible noises in the bedroom.

First, you'll awaken to the almost tolerable sound of crinkling of paper.

After awhile, she'll move to chewing on something plastic...her favorite chew toy is the wireless router antenna, although she's also fond of the window shades, as well as plastic pens and even cable wire.

After about 15 minutes of listening to her munch on her petroleum based smorgasbord, one of us will get up and chase her out of the room. We never reward her with actual food for this. She won't get her breakfast - no matter what - for another 4 hours (at least).

Once ousted from the room, she begins her siege upon the bedroom door, which is located, oddly enough, on the other side of a shower hallway.*

It begins with a light scratching; followed by the long scraping sounds of her claws sliding down the length of the door as she attempts to turn the knob with her paws. This, by the way, sounds very similar to fingernails on a chalkboard.

Lately, I've been parrying with various obstructions, starting with a collapsible laundry hamper. On it's own, it didn't work. Somehow, she still got the door open eventually.

This morning, after several tries, I finally achieved success by adding two pillows in order to render the perch too precarious even for her (remember the hamper collapses).

One system failure later, after my partner used the bathroom then failed to reset the wall adequately, I finally got to sleep in until 9:30!

My partner didn't fare as well. Here is a picture of the exhausted victim at 11:34 a.m.

And here is a picture of her royal relentlessness getting, at last, her reward. Notice the evil grin?

Finally, we have a short animated video confirming there are others who suffer under the tyranny of the hungry house beasts...

Big Yawn,
XXKHT

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile, I was a suspect." -- Steven Wright

*We have the oddest arrangement in our apartment, in that our bedroom is located through a "shower hallway" from the kitchen (no less). The house is an old one (circa 1800s) and I believe at one time it was a single unit dwelling which has since been converted to an upstairs/downstairs duplex. I guess they couldn't figure out a better place to put the shower.