This showed up in my Myspace messages last month! I just discovered it. I hope he's not still waiting for my lovely responds!
(I've highlighted favorite passages in red)
am Micheal Williams by name.. I am from williamsport,Pa,(Usa).. I am 48
years of age...How was your day been today?.Its really nice looking at
your profile..I saw your profile on here and i was really hooked up and
would love to get to know you ......I am an Engineering,Well for now i
working in Nigeria,This my second Month here,I came to fixed an
electronics machines for a new company enstablished here,i have few day
to be thru here,well i have been single for 5yrs and got 1 kid he live
with me Full time.
sound like a very nice woman...Are you single?..Are you looking to
meet?...Where are you right now?....Your favourite activities?...May be
i am asking too much but the fact is that i would really love to know
more about you..I am divorced man with a 7 years of age son..He s jeff
by name..I have been divorced for 5 years now...a cruel word may wreck
a life.....I am a man with values and Principle's. I very much care,
love, gentle and sweet. I estimate value of loyalty and honesty, and I
was increase with good values of family. I have good scence of humour.I love dogs. I have the big love and fidelity in my heart to give fine
to the woman which wants to, I am a man without the complications
formed, cultural, and I believe, that sincerity and honesty - one of my
biggest qualities. ....I - not that naive expectation my soul mate to
come across on this structure, lose his head and any common sense, and
have " happily ever after " with me.... However I - a little from
romantic, both sometimes the dreamer, and certainly the woman (hence
any common sense in genera)....So here I, lowering my toes in similar
to timid waters of the Internet dating. For the last 5 years I was
through a pain, the chosen loneliness and it is a little dates without
the future. I have arrived to essence, that I very much want a steady
life of love again. I like to have steady, loving warm attitudes where
you can trust the person with your most expensive secrets. It is
impossible to describe here ideal attitudes.. .... It morning time we
can take cofees together before work, occasional the reference by phone
within day to make sure, that you - it is good, evening suppers before
TV, long excursions when you do not speak very much with each other,
but silently agree, that the world - a beautiful place... Warm embrace
and a passionate kiss, sensitive contact, a sight.... Dispute on
anything or the big struggle on the big problems.... The same
directions on long trip of a life and mutual understanding, that
sometimes it not necessary to take detour... The Promise, that everyone
will stand in the party(side) for ever. Tolerance. Kindness. Decency.
Love I am one of those good guy, which are given birth to have family,
and I pass affinity and affinity, which love brings. Only..., it would
be good to have the captain! If you think, that you have heart of a sea
lion and not afraid of the avaricious concealed feelings, Why cant you
try and give me a chance and let see what will happened...I never
thought about this internet dating before but i had to give my self a
chance again...being lonely is not a good thing....I would really love
to hear from you...meeting you will be nice...But we have to start from
somewhere first and that s communication...I will be here waiting
patiently for your lovely responds...Take care and enjoy this
world......Here s my personal email
address,,,...firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
....Hope to hear from you soon...
I might as well have turned the whole thing red. Oh Michael...if only I had the heart of sea lions... XXKHT
Birthdays omitted from yesterday 18 March (because any post would have killed the point): F.W. "end apartheid" deKlerk (72); Peter "This tape will self destruct" Graves (82); Edward Everett "Fractured Fairy Tales" Horton (122); Grover Cleveland (171)
and for March 19th: Bruce Willis (52); Glenn Close (60); Wyatt Earp (159)
RIPTON, Vt. - A former home of poet Robert Frost
has been vandalized, with intruders destroying dozens of items and
setting fire to furniture in what police say was an underage drinking
Homer Noble Farm, a former Frost residence that's now a historic
landmark, was ransacked late Friday night during a party attended by up
to 50 people, Sgt. Lee Hodsden said Monday.
The intruders broke a window to get into the two-story wood frame
building — a furnished residence open in the summer — before destroying
tables and chairs, pictures, windows, light fixtures and dishes. Wicker
furniture and dressers were smashed and thrown into a fireplace and
burned, apparently to provide heat in the unheated building, he said.
Empty beer bottles
and cans, plastic cups and cellophane apparently used to hold marijuana
were also found, according to Hodsden. The vandals vomited in the
living room and discharged two fire extinguishers inside the building,
located on a dead-end road off Route 125.
Even when I was a kid, I hated these kinds of kids. I think Anarchy has a place in this world, but not when it gratuitously and ignorantly destroys beautiful, historical properties and landmarks*; and in Vermont - land of no billboards - kids have been known to beat up other kids for vandalism.
I knew a kid who beat up another kid (snowboarders) because the latter tagged an old barn in Stowe with an identifiable mark. He said, "Graffiti has it's place - under bridges and on trains or industrial places - in cities; but it does NOT belong in Stowe."
And not in Ripton either; I hope they give these kids community service until they're forty - like cleaning bed pans in old folks homes, or replacing urinal cakes at the rest stops. Good thing for them these aren't Victorian times - we might have seen them pilloried.
Happy New Year Kids! What a great portent for the coming year.
*the thing is, the cabin was little more than a camp. It's significance was in its place as an historical marker - in that it contained artifacts of the poet's life which have now been carelessly destroyed by kids I'm hoping will come to regret their actions for the rest of their lives.
After several embarrassingly sticky experiences in forgetfulness, I'd all but given up carrying bananas in my backpack.
Problem solved! Cultured Containers inventor Paul Stremple - a former pornographer Gucci architect - has invented the thing all fruit lovers will love to discover in their pants stockings this holiday season:
As you can see, it's a hard shell condom for your banana; designed for her pleasure to protect the other contents of your bag from the inevitable banana spooge which occurs as it explodes on contact with anything else in the bag, i.e. your book, reading glasses, mp3 player and of course the bottom of your bag.
And it comes in colors like a rainbow.
Another million dollar idea slips through my fingers...